I'm so thankful that the board taught us about culture shock. Otherwise, I would feel like something was terribly wrong with me. Being here, having left my language and my context, I feel, in a way, that I have been stripped of everything that made me funny, interesting, or remotely intelligent. I have literally prayed before going to the grocery store that no one would talk to me. This is not who I am. I am a Harris. Shyness has never really been an issue for us. (Actually, boisterousness and scaring strangers by talking to them is generally more our style.)
I blame culture shock for my newfound shyness, which led me to stand in stark terror in front of a little girl who stared at me at church. (and just say "24," instead of,"Nine, ich bin eine fruendin; ich habe 24 Jahre.") I also failed to talk to two guys speaking perfect English in the grocery store.
This (oh, and there's the Biblical precident), makes me wish I had a partner. I've been working on Brie.
However, it's not like I'm longing to go home. It's just that I'm not so sure what to do here. According to part of my training, during my first few months here, I should frequent local hang-outs. Even if I cannot communicate at a deep level with anyone, at least I will experience the culture and learn where the cool places are. There's just one problem with that. There's a word for a girl who goes to bars and cafes (or grocery stores?) alone and tries to engage people in conversation. That's not really something I want to be.
Luckily, it's not about wether I am interesting or not. It's not about whether I am comfortable or not. It's not even about whether or not I can ever understand an answer once I work up the nerve to ask a question. It's about whether Jesus is real or not. It is about whether God is loving and faithful or not. It's a good thing for all of us that He is.
5 comments:
Ah yes... Culture Shock. Good times!
ahhh my little Jesus harlot. you know i would go with you to all those scandelous places and love people with you. i am praying that you have opportunities for ministry in the mundane...like grocery shopping or while using public transportation. it will get easier as time goes...and as language does not sound like speaking in tongues. hang in there...i will be there soon.
I can't imagine the paralyzing fear that strikes when some German approaches you and starts babbling in a language you don't understand and you can't formulate a decent response. But, the old saying is true: it does get better (and easier) with time.
Hang in there!
I'm praying you'll get over your culture shock. It's not the most fun feeling, but within time, you'll adjust. Hang in there!
"Beautiful, large, and empty cathedrals that stand as the last bastions of dead religion."
A vigorous faith was once nurtured in the hearts of the German people - a faith that shook the continent and was carried to the New World. May God be pleased to breathe on the German people in this generation.
"Son of man, can these bones live?"
"O Lord GOD, you know."
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